The John Report Wrestling Blog

WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Preview
By John Canton, Andrew Johnson & Christian Michael

John Canton: I’ve always loved the Royal Rumble pay per view. I showed that love last year when I recapped every Royal Rumble match. The concept of the match is wonderful. Even if you think you know what might happen, there’s always a very good chance that something crazy will happen. I didn’t think Cena would win in 2008 or Edge in 2010 because they both made surprise returns. Could there be a surprise winner this year? You never know. The sad thing about the Rumble is that the winner doesn’t really get to “main event” WrestleMania anymore (especially this year), but it’s still one of my favorite matches and I know I’m going to enjoy it like I do every year. Right now there are only four announced matches. I’d expect some kind of midcard match to be added as a buffer to some of the big ones on the card, but I’m not going to guess what they will be.

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140 Characters or Less
By Mike Aires

I was re-watching this week’s Raw a couple days ago (since I fell asleep Monday evening), enjoying Brodus Clay dance around and smash the stupid ginger Heath Slater.  It was also fun to see Kane have his first official match since putting on his new/old/new mask and beat the living hell out of someone.  An appearance by Mick Foley wearing familiar Cactus Jack attire always brings a smile.  Why do I bring up these very certain details?  Each of these gentlemen has made a career (so far, anyways) by becoming a completely different person.  Kane doesn’t go home and choke slam his dogs to hell.  I doubt Brodus Clay has to talk to archeologists about being the only living Funkasaurus.  I really hope Mick Foley doesn’t live in a boiler, and scream out for his mommy.

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Friday Headlines: 2012 – The Year of the Pay-Per-View

WWE sure likes to change their PPV schedule around, don’t they? The past few weeks have seen several changes to the 2012 lineup, and this week has been no different. After Money In The Bank was replaced with TLC and TLC was replaced with Bragging Rights and Bragging Rights was replaced by Brodus Clay Cooks A Tuna Melt: LIVE, it would appear that we have the finalized* schedule available to us. Check it out:

*Not actually finalized. Summerslam to be moved to a date in February.

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Disasterpiece Theatre: The Stranger
By Jacob Lindsey

From Netflix:

When amnesia robs a man of everything—including his family and his own identity—he’s confounded after discovering that he’s wanted by the feds and Russian gangsters. But he’s not willing to succumb to the present until he reclaims his forgotten past. In the meantime, that means dodging bullets and backstabbers and figuring out whom he can trust.

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NXT 5.47 Review
By Lonestar

Who’s got two thumbs and is going to the Royal Rumble on Sunday? This guy!!! I’m only days away from attending my first ever WWE live event and all in all I’m about as excited as a starving dog in a bacon factory. My friends and I will be seated somewhere between the rafters and the sky so the chances of us appearing on TV will sadly be slim. However, if you do happen to spot a tall, skinny dude with glasses cheering awkwardly for C M Punk, it’s probably me.

In case you’re curious, my predictions for the PPV, the weekly review of NXT and possibly even some pictures of hot chicks are all after the jump.

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Thursday Headlines: John Cena’s Angry Face

This week’s episode of Raw was a good one. We got some great CM Punk/John Laurinaitis interaction, another fantastic Chris Jericho segment in which he finally spoke, and an excellent video package promoting the Royal Rumble. All in all, it was a very good go-home show (a show that promotes an upcoming pay-per-view, for all you non-wrestling nerds). But there was one segment that stood out for all the wrong reasons, and ended up being a disappointment. Of course, I’m talking about John Cena’s “angry face” segment.

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The Midweek Breakdown: 10 Things I Think I Thought This Week
by Cody Dodson

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fine edition of the column that rises above hate almost 43% of the time. It’s the Midweek Breakdown with me, your ever-so-grateful host, Cody Dodson. It will be January 25th when this column comes out, which can only mean one thing. The Royal Rumble is upon us and thus, the Road to Wrestlemania is about to begin. Now, most people are busy speculating over the standard questions like who is going to win, who will be the surprise entrants, and whether or not the arena will fall dead silent when Heath Slater makes his entrance. I personally won’t try to guess any of these, although I think we all know the answer to one of them. What I will do is give some thoughts on the week’s happenings and the Royal Rumble in the form of the 10 random thoughts format I debuted last time. It got a good response the first time, so let’s do it again!

Quick note: I might make this format a bi-weekly thing if people continue to enjoy it. Be sure to let me know what you think. It’s still in the experimentation phase!

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Andrew had something come up, so I’m stepping in to do Headlines today. I don’t normally complain about wrestling, because it’s wrestling. It’s going to be silly, you’re going to scratch your head sometimes, and that’s fine. Again, it’s wrestling, and it’s always been that way. What bothers me, though, is that 30 years ago–before the internet ruined our lives–storyline injuries worked better because they were believable. Someone was piledriver’d on the cold, hard concrete and their neck was broken. Randy Savage smashed Ricky Steamboat with a ring bell and his trachea was permanently destroyed forever. Then these guys would come back from career-threatening injuries, because they’re superhuman, and they would seek revenge on their attackers. That was then. Now it’s usually ridiculous.

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Honor Roll – January 21, 2012
By Matt Seagull

I’m incredibly happy this week. Not only have my beloved New York Giants made the Superbowl again, but Ring of Honor has gone in a different direction that’s extremely interesting. Last Friday night, at “The Homecoming 2012,” ROH returned to the Philadelphia Armory, and they weren’t the only company representing. CHIKARA Pro invaded the show, getting involved specifically in the Briscoes’ match against CHIKARA members, and former ROH stars, Jigsaw and Hallowicked.

The exclusive video is here.

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The John Report: The WWE Raw Deal 01/23/12
By John Canton
Follow me on Twitter at @johnreport

Live from Phoenix, Arizona this is the Raw Deal…

We get the usual intro. Isn’t it time to get a new theme song? I’m so sick of Nickelback. I’m sure a lot of people are, but in Canada it’s even worse since they come from this country. I’ve had people write me about a lack of pyro at WWE shows. I’ve read that they made an internal decision to cut back on the amount of pyro they use. It’s a money thing.

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Tuesday Headlines: Come With Me If You Want To Live
By Mike Aires and Marc “Fozzie” B.

During a recent public appearance, Lex Luger was asked what being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame would mean to him.

“It would just be a tremendous honor if someday I was inducted in the Hall of Fame, but really, we’re here to get down to glory to God now with our lives and serve others and use open vessels for him to bring people to Christ,” says Luger, who in 2006 declared himself a born again Christian. Lex continues, “But, would that be an honor? It’s something that would also help to use as a platform to continue ministry as well. It would be wonderful, definitely.” (Rajah)

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This is a discussion post for tonight’s edition of WWE Raw. It’s the last Raw before the Royal Rumble. I’ll have the Raw Deal posted on Tuesday morning or early afternoon. On Friday we’ll have a Royal Rumble preview, on Sunday I’ll be doing live coverage of the Royal Rumble and next Monday I’ll write about Raw live.

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