The John Report: Talking Smack 05/14/10 (Punk/Rey)
Before I start this week, people always ask me if I’m on any messenger programs because they want to chat with me. I put them at the bottom, but I guess people are too lazy to read all the way until the end. I use Trillian a lot, even at work sometimes for 20 or 30 minutes when I get bored, so you can catch me on the following messenger programs: Yahoo: thejohnreportnet@yahoo.com (on there the most), GoogleTalk: oratoryjohn@gmail.com (rare), AOL: OratorJC (on there second most), MSN: oratoryjohn@hotmail.com (rare). I’m not on all the time, but if you see me there I’ll talk to ya. Add me if you want. If I didn’t want to talk, I would avoid logging on. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get to the show.
Taped from Buffalo, New York let’s talk some smack…
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston d. Christian (***)
Teddy Long announced this was for the vacant IC title. Some people emailed me last week thinking one of the guys would go heel. I didn’t see that happening. It’s just a face vs. face match to have a good match, which is what they did. It got about 12 minutes or so, which is less than what I would have liked. They did have an even match where each guy got a decent amount of offense and it build at a good pace. The commercial midway through hurt it, but that’s what we are used to on Smackdown by now. They did a nice finish with Christian going for his finish, Kofi fighting out, Christian getting a nearfall and then Kofi ended it with the Trouble in Paradse that Grisham said was OUT OF NOWHERE~! And you know what? It was. If this went 17-20 minutes in length it could have been a four star match or higher, but due to it being only about 12 minutes it’s hard for me to give it higher than three stars. Still good, but I had higher expectations. When you see some of the time fillers that happened later you’d know why I was a bit disappointed.
Post match, Kofi celebrated with the belt. He really gave a shit while Christian was upset that he lost. Little things like that make fans think “hey maybe that belt means something.” Better than the one that’s never defended on Raw. The celebration was cut short as the “suspended” Drew McIntyre, with theme music in tact, came out. He gave Teddy Long an envelope, Teddy read what was in it, didn’t like what it said and then had Kofi give Drew the belt. The crowd booed as McIntyre walked out with the belt.
After the break, Striker read the letter. It was from Vince McMahon and said he overruled Long’s decision to strip McIntyre of the belt. Crowd hated it. Good way to add heat to Drew.
They showed Swagger backstage as some dudes unloaded boxes from a truck. What was it for? We’d find out later.
Shad Gaspard d. Jesse Guyver (SQUASH)
Shad came out, nobody cared, he won with a STO, he left and nobody cared. He’s just another guy that makes mean faces. They need to do more than simply say it’s “my time” for him.
We got a video package recapping Rey/Punk with a match coming later. Rey’s daughter is a professional actress in case you didn’t know. You could tell. She’s good.
MVP & JTG d. The Dudebusters (*1/4)
It was alright although The Dudebusters gimmick isn’t getting over that well. Matt Striker’s really trying hard to help them get over, but they could use some promo time to do that. They got what, one promo ever? Give them a backstage segment maybe. Typical tag where JTG got beat up, got the hot tag to MVP and he got the win because he’s the biggest name in the match. It was only four minutes.
Backstage, Punk told Gallows & Serena that he wants them to stay in the back for his match tonight. They stared because that’s what they do. And I like staring at Serena.
Jack Swagger Appreciation
They filled the ring up with memorabilia that we found out was from Jack Swagger’s life. Was it real? Of course not. It was over the top and campy, but that fits his heel character perfectly. There was a lot of over things that he said that were funny to me although it might have been a bit long. Don’t feel like going into all of it. I think it’s hilarious that they go to commercial during his promo as a way to make fans think he’s a guy that won’t shut up. The highlight was Swagger talking about a sandwich being named after him called “The Swaggy.” He then said it was delicious and it “tastes like freedom.” Ha, that was gold. Gold Jerry, gold! Swagger’s definitely improving on the microphone. Big Show came out. Predictably, he beat up all the trophies while Swagger sold it as if he was heartbroken that all his life’s work were now destroyed. The fans enjoyed what Show did because they hate Swagger so much now. It’s not necessarily a love of Show. It’s that Swagger’s microphone work is really pissing people off.
The first week Show knocked him out, the second week Show put him through a table and now in the third week Show humiliated him. Swagger’s retaining at Over The Limit, no question about it.
Layla & Michelle d. Beth Phoenix so Layla’s the new Women’s Champion (1/2*)
The Beth/Rosa match was changed to Michelle & Layla vs. Beth in a handicap match where Beth was selling the knee injury. Beth got a huge pop in her hometown. Well deserved. Aside from a double Samoan drop by Beth, she was mostly on the defensive until Layla won with a pinfall after a Beth/McCool collision. I thought it was an interesting booking decision to have Layla win the belt only because they rarely book her to be anything except a loser. She’s on a few matches in the last month, though, so I setup. I think as an actress she’s pretty funny. As a wrestler she’s average at best. And with Beth out now we’ll get to see one of the Barbie Girls in Tiffany or Kelly be the top challenger? Yawn. The divas division is hurting big time.
Beth has a torn ACL and she’s out for six months at least. Similar to Melina’s injury. I’m glad she got that moment in front of her hometown crowd. It’s just a shame that this injury has to happen now because she was probably the most valuable diva on the roster. Now people are asking me if this means Mickie could come back. I think she’s moved on. Maybe down the road she could if WWE wants her, but it would have to be later in the year. I don’t think that door’s closed. Not like I know, though. Just saying it could happen.
Kane d. Chavo (SQUASH)
It was 90 seconds. Kane won with a chokeslam. Why not just give 3 more minutes to the Kofi/Christian match instead of this? Lame.
Backstage, Teddy told Drew that he can’t take anything away from him, but he can give him something. Next week it’s a match pitting Drew vs. Big Show. I should also add here that Drew vs. Kofi for the IC title has been added to Over The Limit. I think Kofi will win it there probably due to Matt Hardy interference.
Rey Mysterio d. CM Punk via DQ (**1/2)
I’m not a fan of doing a singles match two weeks before they are doing the same singles match on PPV. I understand why it was done, but there could have been another way to do the same finish. Then again, they’ve done the tag match multiple times already. I’m not complaining. I’m just saying if you are advertising a PPV match in two weeks as one of your main draws it’s not the best idea to do it on free TV. With that said, this was clearly a TV match where they left something in the tank for the PPV match. They were working hart, but not as hard as they will when they are on the PPV stage. I’m expecting that one to be a 20 minute match while this one was only about ten minutes. Mysterio got Punk down with the 619, hit the springboard splash and that started the run-ins. First Gallows, then a masked person…that was Serena. Then another masked person attacked him for the DQ. They beat on Rey some more and ended the show with Punk doing the Straight Edge Society pledge with Rey’s hand on his heart. Despite being the most likable guy on the roster, nobody helps Rey. Poor guy.
The masked person is Joey Mercury although we don’t see his face of course. You may have read that Mercury actually went to rehab, got clean and that’s why he got re-hired. It’s like he’s a real life SES guy. Fits perfectly.
Three Stars of the Show
1. Kofi Kingston – Christian deserves it too, but I’ll throw in the winner here.
2. Beth Phoenix – Kudos to her for working hurt and getting that hometown pop. I’ll miss her while she’s out.
3. Jack Swagger – I thought he was very good in his promo segment.
6 out of 10
Last week: 7
It was mostly a good show. I think the progression for Punk/Rey and Swagger/Show were good while the opening match was a really solid TV match. The problem is the other matches on the show didn’t amount to much. I’m not crazy about Layla as Women’s Champion, the Shad/Kane squashes add little to the show and MVP/JTG teaming up to the win doesn’t really progress anything. You know how there are weeks where the whole show seems to have a purpose? For this week it seemed like three segments had a purpose. The rest was filler. Too much filler hurts the show. Still above average, though.
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John Canton – john@thejohnreport.net
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Unless they sign Awesome Kong, this is probably the beginning of the end of LayCool. Not that anyone will really care, but Tiffany is still green… and Kelly is too sloppy (thanks for posting Batista). So that team will implode… and people will still not care.
You say some of it was purposeless, but I have to disagree. The Kane and Shad squashes were done because Smackdown is booking them both strong so they can feud with each other. Yes, Kane vs. Shad is happening. It won’t be at all an intense feud, but at least they are booking them strong in advance so their showdowns seem more “epic”.
The JTG/MVP tag match was done to have JTG and MVP tag for a while so MVP can then turn on JTG. You think they just removed MVP from the Punk program for nothing? No, they just can’t have him bringing pops when the plan is for him to turn heel. JTG is the perfect victim for MVP’s heel turn when it happens as he already got beat up by Shad. Hell, they may even make it a running gag.
I disagree with your assumption that the Barbies will become the contenders. I doubt Layla winning the title will lead to a program with TIffany or Kelly Kelly. Layla definitely is going to begin feuding with McCool when the latter “turns on her”. Same as the first Triple H/Orton feud; it will be short and sweet and McCool will get the title by the end of it. After that, maybe Kelly gets a title shot although I am more inclined to think either Melina or Gail gets moved to feud with her.
Overall, it was a nice show which I rate at an 8. It progressed nicely and made me want to watch this show every week. You were too hard on it; it was definitely the best wrestling show out of the 5 of the week.
I normally fast-forward through diva segments, but the last I saw LayCool was pretty over, especially when working with Vickie Guerrero. I think they’d get a strong response from the fans for a break up.
Great recap John!
The straightedge society looks better than ever with a fourth member. Drew is back and ic champ again, with is awesome. And Cody Rhodes is falling down the corporate ladder, not being put on a show over Chaco and the stoner dudes, it’s about over for him.
Alex Riley might be the masked SES member.
http://www.wrestlingnewsworld.com/wwe-news/identity-of-rey-mysterio-s-attacker-revealed.php
I pledge alegance to the Cantonation, one nation under Canton.
I loved the no nonsense start to the show. No drawn out promos or guest hosts plugging their junk, it was straight to business and a solid match at that.
I’m slowly warming to Swagger and I think a win over Big Show would be the final piece in the main event picture for him.
As Feedback said above, I wouldn’t be surprised by a LayCool split up but I think someone is going to have to seriously step up to save the women’s division as I don’t see anyone left standing able to match McCool’s level of ability and she certainly can’t do it alone. I’d love to see Kong brought in but I don’t see WWE changing their female recruitment policy.
The final match, and in particular the very last shot of Punk holding Rey’s hand up giving the pledge, was a great ending to the show. I was worried that seeing this match for the third straight PPV would struggle to draw interest but I now hold hope for a good PPV match.
You didn’t mention it, but I think that one of the reasons Kofi really deserved to be the star of the show was the emotion he showed after Teddy Long took the title away from him. The look on his face was amazing. He truly looked like the title was important to him and having it taken away after working so hard to win it was devastating to him. That was awesome and it shows why Kofi is an asset.
Take out the Kane/Chavo match, and this show might have been an 8. The Swagger promo was great (Swagger for most Improved 2010).
I also enjoyed the Rey/Punk match alot, as well as the kofi/christian, including the IC drama (almost makes you think the IC matters…bravo to that).
Very good show tonight
My friends and I, all in our early to mid-20′s absolutely love the Dudebusters gimmick, mostly because it reminds us sooo much of the a-holes that we knew in college, just a bunch of “chill bros.”
For the sake of our small but loyal viewership, I really hope they give them some backstage stuff or vignettes of some kind, b/c that is the kind of material that would strike a chord with older viewers…kudos to striker for seriously putting it over..that had me laughing out loud…btw, I really enjoy Striker as the heel-ish announcer, while he may not be over the top in his attitudes, over the course of each show he ranges from cheering for the heels to scoffing at faces, which is quite refreshing
Yeah, I really like the Dudebusters, THEY CAN WRESTLE…BUT they need some promos and backstage skits. They need to be the comedic relief on Smackdown and be put in a feud with the random team of Kane and Big Show. Glad Layla is the champ…and I hope SD writers dont split up Laycool because they’re usually a lot more creative with their Diva storylines. It’s just so cool how are the titles are a big deal on SD…unlike those on Raw. SmackDown seems to trying to shuffle out their very thin roster..and waiting for NXT to wrap up for they can add some of those guys to the roster. PS. Where the frak was Cody…sigh
it was a good show. Alot better than raw ever. christian and kofi had a pretty solid contest. I can see kofi winning at otl just so they can continue pushing new draft picks. Maybe well see cody and kofi soon ic title soon. Drew mac needs out of the midcard pac. Hell proly be in the title picture come fatal 4 way. Swagger show drew mac and christian maybe. Divas are a waste of time so no use in talking about them. Im not sure who will come out on top rey or punk. I hope cm punk dosnt lose his hair. Why stop the ses push with a solid brick wall like that.
Drew McIntyre is a world class champion. Teddy Long should be ashamed of himself. It’s great to see that this travesty has been corrected, and that the Intercontinental title has been returned to its rightful owner.
I see Vickie becoming RAW GM again and getting a restraining order on Orton. Teddy Long is going to be so fed up with McIntyre that there will be a trade and Orton will be on SD and Drew on RAW.
@The Cantonation
Suck up!!!
Ya the masked member is Alex Riley
dudebusters need a push, and the kane chavo match was pointless, besides that, good show. oh, and ziggler should have been on it, but at least i got to see him on superstars, ziggler + swagger = epic.
LayCool is the greatest thing in womens wrestling today. Or maybe I just love seeing Layla in HD.
No Ziggler or Cody….. and too much McIntyre. I hate that guy. He ruins shows.
i don’t mind McIntyre, but yeah where’s Ziggler?
Big Show is a bully. The only reason that he destroyed all of Jack Swagger’s trophies is that he’s jealous of his achievements.
I thought the Swagger promo was awful. I really didn’t think it generated much of a crowd response. That is, until Big Show came out and destroyed all of the trophies. I know they want to portray Swagger as a guy who talks alot, but I don’t htink that is his strongsuit. His voice is kind of boring and he has a lisp, so it kind of comes of weak. I think the less talking from him, the better. He is awful. I still can’t believe he is the champ. He does nothing for me.
To me, this reeks of desperation for Vince. He needed a new main eventer. So, instead of slowly but srely building a true main eventer, he takes a guy who he buried on TV for 6 months, has him win the MITB at WM and then has him win the Title 2 weeks later. Instant main eventer (in Vince’s head)! Hate it, and hate what wrestling has become recently. Barely any reason to watch anymore.
If they want to improve the Tag Division, then they should improve it with the following teams on both shows:
-Evan Bourne and Yoshi Tatsu
- The Brothers of Destruction
- Give the SES a tag team
- Ezekiel Jackson and MVP
- Mark Henry and R-Truth
Also, a question for you all, especially you John Canton: Why aren’t there more stables in the WWE? There were so many of them in the past, but now they are rare. At the moment there is only the SES. Do you think the product would be more successful with the inclusion of say 2 or 3 more stables? Eg. Boost the Hart Dynasty with a main eventer; create a rival to the SES etc?
I just love how WWE made all the trophies say “Jack Swagger” when any smart wrestling fan with internet access would know that his real name is
Jacob “Jake” Hager! Swagger is improving nicely as champion though, hope he continues for a while longer.
@Nicholas
Please no Ezekiel Jackson/MVP & Mark Henry/R-Truth Tag Team. They tried it with Mark Henry & MVP and it didn’t work.
Turn JTG heel, and put Cryme Tyme (heel) together. Give the Dudebusters a little push (maybe a face run), CM Punk & Luke Gallows, Turn JoMo heel and put him with The Miz. (Jericho world-title push)
Remember how cool Edge and Christian were?
Well the Dudebusters will never be that cool. Why? Nothing to do with talent or ability or comedy value.
They won’t give the Dudebusters weekly backstage vignettes with Teddy Long while they talk about Call of Duty, Nuts, Soda’s and all that stuff.
If they got time, I’m not saying they’d be as good or as funny, but they could get over. They just aren’t letting them.
Of course no one helped Rey. He is Mexican. Vince would never allow a wrestler to save a Mexican, because it would undermine Vince’s WWE crime prevention program.
Check out Pedro Morales, Eddie Gurrerro, or Super Crazy. They can set you straight.
The above was said in sarcasm. I have disagreed with the WWE’s treatment of minorities for years.
@jay
True. Look at Mark Henry on Raw last week. He comes out to help Cena…But when Henry is in trouble, no Cena in sight.
I remember how many people posted the Swagger push would fail. Ha ha! :P
Seriously though, where the hell was Cody and Mr. Ziggles? :(
Jack Swagger is the champion because he won it fair and square, just like the rest of awards. Mr and Mrs Swagger must have been so proud of him when he won the Scrabble Champion Award and had his name forever emblazoned in letter tiles.
Am i the only 1 who like rhodes? i think he is loads better than dibiase yet dibiase gets the push and wen they was in legacy they used rhodes as the jobber, is it cus dibiase has more the build that vince likes?
If rhodes bulks up like orton did (if u remem orton was loads slimmer wen he debuted) do u think he could b a future main eventer?