140 Characters or Less By Mike Aires
140 Characters or Less
By Mike Aires
I was re-watching this week’s Raw a couple days ago (since I fell asleep Monday evening), enjoying Brodus Clay dance around and smash the stupid ginger Heath Slater. It was also fun to see Kane have his first official match since putting on his new/old/new mask and beat the living hell out of someone. An appearance by Mick Foley wearing familiar Cactus Jack attire always brings a smile. Why do I bring up these very certain details? Each of these gentlemen has made a career (so far, anyways) by becoming a completely different person. Kane doesn’t go home and choke slam his dogs to hell. I doubt Brodus Clay has to talk to archeologists about being the only living Funkasaurus. I really hope Mick Foley doesn’t live in a boiler, and scream out for his mommy.
The thing is that these guys are far from the norm. Ever since wrestling hit the “peak” of its viewership in the late 90s and into the 21st century, more and more guys have been going away from characters and into reflections of themselves. We have less Doink the Clowns and wrestlers hailing from “Parts Unknown” and more guys basically playing themselves. John Cena the character is a lot like John Cena the person. He is a guy who sticks up for what he believes in, works his ass off, and enjoys making people happy. Steve Austin the wrestler likes to drink beer. Steve Austin the normal guy is a southern boy who drinks a lot of brewskis.
Now, with the “realistic” era we are in, there really is not any room for guys like Sparky Plugg, Papa Shango, or even The Hurricane. Yet we had the debut of a dancing funk machine in Brodus Clay, and we are close to seeing a debut of Ryback. Ryback is a character, played by the wrestler formerly known as Skip Sheffield, which comes from the future to destroy victims. Basically…he’s the Terminator.
I’m worried that these character guys will just get lost in the shuffle like all of the character guys of the past. I really do not understand why they continue to make outlandish characters when they very rarely work out. Just look at the past 15 years or so. The top guys have all been amped up versions of themselves. The only people off the top of my head that have used outlandish gimmicks and succeeded are Undertaker, Kane, Mankind, and to some extent, Hurricane Helms. The problem with these four is that all of them, at one point, have more so played a more “human” version of themselves. Taker had his Kid Rock/Limp Bizkit-motorcycle phase, Kane had his semi-normal look, Mankind just became Mick Foley, and Helms wrestled as himself for years.
It is interesting to me; Today’s wrestling seems more “normal” than it was in the golden years. Not as many outlandish storylines, over-the-top characters, or blatant in-your-face stupidity. Yet the attitude era and even a bit before then is considered “better” than today’s product. So people want more realistic portrayals of wrestling on TV, yet the stuff that was over-the-top was better? Interesting. For the past several years, besides Undertaker playing with the lights, we kept everything pretty close to the collar when it came to wrestling. Before then? We had rape angles, people owning their own monster trucks, people being magical, numerous abduction angles, and matches where the person is either burned alive or buried underneath dirt. Now, there is resurgence. Kane apparently using anything under the set or ring as his own personal Hell. Santino beating people by smacking them with a snake sleeved hand.
So the question remains…why does characters work in some cases, then in many cases doesn’t?
The most obvious answer is that the character is just plain horrible. Bob Holly came in as Thurman “Sparky” Plugg, a race car-driving hick ready to kick ass, and it seemed like a total waste of space. Why in the hell would a race car driver want to wrestle as well? Not only that, but this character was thought up WELL before NASCAR got popular. Who remembers Simon Dean? He was the fitness guru that rolled around on a segway for almost two years pimping a system of supplements and calling everyone fat. It was annoying as hell, and not in a good way. The sad thing is, in both of these cases, both of these guys were solid wrestlers. Bob Holly and Mike Bucci (known to most ECW fans as Nova) were both above average wrestlers. They just had shitty gimmicks. Same can be said for pre-Stone Cold days when he was in the “Hollywood Blondes”, Isaac Yankem DDS, and let’s not forget…Kevin Nash as OZ.
If a good wrestler can’t salvage a bad character, then there is no way in hell that a sub-par wrestler is going to make a gimmick work. The purpose of a character is to help get a guy over. But if the guy sucks and has no charisma, a character is not going to help anything. Damien Demento? The KISS Demon? Max Moon? The god damn Shockmaster? All of these guys were screwed from the get-go. They were not going to succeed no matter what happened. They had horrible gimmicks, their costumes sucked, and they weren’t going to out-wrestle anyone. Putting a “blah” wrestler in an even more “blah” character is a sure-fire recipe for horribleness. And trust me, I know. I have a PhD in Horribleness.
If any of you can think of good characters that did not work out, then please let me know. Usually if a character is good, then it will work out, or else…it wouldn’t be a GOOD CHARACTER.
So that leads into good characters that work extremely well. Why do they do so? A simple equation will explain this:
Step 1: Have Charisma
Step 2: Have an interesting take/look
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Profit
Step 3 can be a bit of a doozy, but I think it paints a picture. The reason why some guys make it with outlandish characters is because they have the charisma and “it” factor to pull it off, and it’s something interesting. Undertaker is interesting, sells it completely, and on top of that is a good wrestler. Same can be said with Kane. I think Foley’s history of being damn near suicidal in the ring helped his character (or characters) succeed. But even he too is extremely charismatic and good in the ring.
So is Step 3: Being a Good Wrestler? It seems like it might be. Another guy I mentioned previously, Shane Helms? Good charisma, had a fun/interesting look, and was a good wrestler. The late Eddie Fatu, aka Umaga went the same route. He had an amazing look, had surprisingly good charisma in that character (even though he really didn’t speak), and was good in the ring.
So what does this mean?
It could mean two things.
One, it could mean nothing. Characters seem to just not be around anymore as people want more “realism” to their wrestling. The reason we can still have Undertaker and Kane is because they are legends. Brodus Clay might work just because he is fun to watch. Something about a gigantic tattoo-ed man gyrating and jiggling and telling people to “call his momma” is fun to me, and apparently to a lot of other people.
Maybe it means something though. If it takes great charisma, an interesting look, and good wrestling ability, maybe it is a knack at the current crop of wrestlers. Maybe these guys literally CAN’T pull off characters. It’s not a well-kept secret that there were better wrestlers from the WWE in the WWE 15 years ago than there is now. Maybe the “behind the scenes” team does not feel that the current roster has the qualities needed in order to make a true character stand out and be effective.
Personally, I do not see this being the case. I think plenty of guys on the roster have the qualities in order to pull off characters. Ziggler, Punk, Cena, Orton, Rhodes, and others already play “character” versions of themselves. But give any of those guys complete makeovers, I think they could pull off a gimmicky style character.
So characters are both good and bad. They can be fun at times, but they may not have a place in this “realistic”, social-media driven world that the WWE lives in today. It will be interesting to see how the company goes forward with over-the-top characters like Funkasaurus and Ryback. Will they succeed, or will Taker and Kane be the last of a dying breed of character-wrestlers?
What do you guys think? Do you like to suspend your beliefs with characters, or do you like the real world, “versions of themselves”-type characters?
On another note, the Rumble is this weekend. With John deciding that doing a site-wide preview of each PPV is extremely long, I figure I could use my column to give you a rundown of what I’m expecting to happen.
John Cena vs. Kane – The obvious is going to happen here. Cena will become all angry and bad ass and beat Kane down and just before he does something extremely heelish, he stops, then Kane makes a comeback. But Cena goes Super Cena and wins the match. So basically…nothing changes.
Winner – Cena
Daniel Bryan Danielson vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry – This will be a brutal match, with Daniel Bryan being a little weasel and sneaking out of the cage when Show and Henry have basically taken each other out.
Winner – Daniel Bryan
CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler – Could get to 4-star quality, if not higher if they are given enough time. Both guys are amazing workers. I figure it will be back and forth, with Johnny Ace getting beat up or hit at some point. Punk walks out still champ.
Royal Rumble – With the big push of “any person can enter”, I wonder if someone like Punk or Daniel Bryan has a shot to win this? I still think the most logical winners would be Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, or even a dark horse like Rhodes, Ziggler, or Punk/Bryan. But my pick hasn’t changed this month. The title for Best in the World will be up for grabs at WrestleMania.
Winner – Chris Jericho
What are y’alls picks? What do you think about the character situation? Let us know in the comments or become an Airehead on twitter.
Also, remember to check out Headlines every Tuesday with Fozzie (@FozzieMB) and myself each week as we discuss news from the weekend.
dude! you kiddin me, Mordecai was the man
Nice South Park reference.
Good article. Similiar to How vital is orginality by Laurence Salford. Glad you remembered Umaga. His gimmic did work until the wellness violation.
John Cena during his rapper gimmick in the early 2000s worked like a freaking charm. And the funny thing is, I don’t think anyone thought it would do anything for his career. A decade later: Cena v Rock!
Aires I am typically a big fan of all your work on here, but for some reason this was a difficult read to follow. It felt as if you were repeating yourself over and over. In fairness though, it could just be that I’m high as shit. Regardless, you made some good points and I agree that the Rumble could be interesting because of this “anyone can enter” stipulation. Thank you for the hard work week in and week out. I definitely don’t want to come across as a troll, cause I appreciate the entire TJR staffs effort, this was just a hard piece to follow IMO. I look forward to the next piece. #aireheadsunite!
Misleading title, I thought this was about Twitter for a second. Glad it wasn’t. I think gimmicky characters are good in moderation, but once they become the main focus then that’s a problem. Then again the demographic they are catering to would enjoy more gimmicks than straight up reality based characters. Makes for better action figures and other child friendly merchandise.
For Royal Rumble predictions click my name.
*Fades2Black*
@Kirkham
You may be high as shit, but I see where you are coming from. Got my point across but the structure is a bit off. Just keep smoking until everything jumbles together. It’ll make more sense then.
Looking back at past gimmicks now, boy were most of them fucking stupid, but in their moment in time, they were fucking awesome as fuck.
@Andrew Johnson
I made a few references in the column. Seeing if any nerds out there catch the other major one.
@THE INFAMOUS JCITY™
I refuse to belive that the Disco Inferno was anything other than the best thing in the history of history-ness.
Well looks like its gonna be a singles cage match since mark henry is injured again. Hyperventalated knee(I think that’s how you spell it)
I think step 3 is for the talent to be committed to the character. Brodus is working because he seems like he’s enjoying himself and probably is a big, goofy dude in real life. Honky Tonk worked because he seemed like he really was an Elvis impersonator. Even the most ridiculous gimmicks have that air of legitimacy about them if the talent is behind them.
Good article. I think you mentioned some good points in why a “character” would get over…#1 the ability to wrestle #2 Charisma, but I feel most important is #3 The wrestler has to actually has to believe in the character. Kane aka Glenn Jacobs had some crappy characters (aka Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel) before he caught on with Kane. But he had a blueprint from the Undertaker on how to be Kane, and he believed in it. I think there were good wrestlers that have been out there, like Terry Taylor who hated the Red Rooster, Tito Santana as El Matador, and their gimmicks failed for it.
I also think the lost of real territories has a play in the lost art of the character wrestler. Territories allowed wrestlers to hone their craft in different areas. And what would work in one area, wouldn’t necessarily work in another area. So the wrestler had to keep evolving. Look at Jericho for example, wrestling all over the world, allows him to stay ahead of the curve and keep evolving. Alot of new guys can’t do that. For example MVP, I thought his character was great, but he never changed, and for that he got future endeavored
I reckon the ‘it’ factor is dedication to character depth. In days past, wrestlers had to know their gimmicks back to front. They lived and breathed them, ready to give kayfabe interviews without having to work out what’s what.
If a superstar understands their own gimmick, it comes across in promos. Punk leaving WWE worked because he actually wanted to. Obviously, Hurricane didnt actually want to save people, but he did want to be a superhero. Taker doesn’t really have much he can pull from reality (hopefully). But he clearly spends the time figuring out his character’s history and thoughts, rather than regurgitating writers nonsense.
Dr. Horrible FTW! Great work Mike – always enjoy your articles. I think it’s very true what you say about bad wrestlers having bad gimmicks. The only way to get it across is to be a good wrestler too.
@Mike Aires
Ha, I was a big Disco Inferno fan back in the days. He was a solid midcarder and was entertaining.
Now if only we could get a Funkasaurus vs Das Wunderkid Alex Wright in a dance off my life would be complete. No homo.
Surely La Parka is the best gimmick who didn’t make it!
@RobW
There we go. Someone picked up the nerd reference. Easy to pick up movie or TV quotes, but Dr. Horrible? You win, sir.
IMPORTANT: I was just watching the deleted scenes on Half Baked and one had one of the detectives emotionally break down at the thought of his “Little Jimmy” being sold drugs. “No! Not Little Jimmy! Oh, poor Little Jimmy!” or something to that effect. With R-Truth being a documented stoner, I feel I may have stumbled upon the inspiration for this symbolic character that R-Truth has made up to refer to the children of the WWE Universe. I dunno, maybe.
Was anything better than the Ultimate Warrior back in the day? I guess he wasn’t actually a character considering he is in fact a raving lunatic from parts unknown.
I thought the Headshrinkers gimmick was pretty cool back in the day. Although, you could argue that with the tag team success they had (and the Wild Samoans before them/Umaga after them) that the gimmick itself was a good gimmick & did actually work. However, once the team was split it was weird the way gimmick was dropped from either guy. 3 Minute Warning was a decent enough gimmick too.
I’d also argue that the Nasty Boys gimmick was a good one – albeit developed by sub-par wrestlers (sorry, but I just do not rate Knobbs & Saggs at all – unquestionably a case of two guys in the right place at the right time & politicking their way to the top).
Umm.. have you ever seen ant Stunning Steve or Hollywood Blondes matches/Promos? I was a huge fan and it was a great gimmick that got over. I marked out huge when the ringmaster debuted. I demand you take that being a Shitty gimmick back.
I should add, good read besides
ECW’s Nova= Intergalactic(:
Dammit, beaten to making a comment about the Evil League of Evil….
Ok hands down….greatest gimmick/tag team of all time…The Heavenly Bodies! Gimme some “Pretty Boy” Tommy Prichard and “The Gigolo” Jimmy Del Ray all day everyday! Also who remembers Kwang? He was definatly Savio Vegas better half. I remember going crazy as a kid whenever he did the green mist.
I’m will El Matidor on this. The Hollywood Blondes was a great gimmick that came together from a hastily arranged decision. They worked on the gimmick and it worked. It’s just a shame that WCW (namely Bischoff) did not have a clue what he had on his hands.
At least both Heyman and McMahon (eventually) had the balls to let them run free and run wild.
*with (not will)
Is English your first or second language? The amount of grammar and usage mistakes in your writing is atrocious. It’s “suspend your DISbelief” not “suspend the belief”. It’s “why DO characters work”, not “why does characters work”. Did you finish high school?