Earlier this week CM Punk was on Twitter and probably bored, so he made a very Andrew Johnson-esque (meaning uncouth and mocking) tweet toward R&B singer/woman abuser Chris Brown. Of course, if you expected Brown to just ignore the comment and let it go with dignity, and not make uneducated claims such as accusing the only straight-edge WWE Superstar of using steroids, then you probably don’t know who Chris Brown is.
Hello good sirs and lasses, and welcome to this week’s Smacking of WWE Smackdown. We’ve got a lot to go over this week, so let’s skip the part where I ask you to leave a comment below where you correct my spelling and grammar (because I no longer care) and get right into the vegan meat substitute and potatoes of this thing.
You ready? Because it’s time to smack it… down. (I’ll be honest, I’m not feeling very well so I don’t really have a catchphrase in me today. Maybe next week I will. Sorry.)
WWE Elimination Chamber 2012 Preview
By John Canton, Andrew Johnson & Christian Michael
John Canton: Welcome to the Elimination Chamber preview by the TJR crew. This year’s February PPV features two Elimination Chamber matches with both the WWE Title and World Title on the line. There’s also what the Ambulance Match that will likely be the blowoff match in the John Cena/Kane “Embrace the Hate” feud. Does this year’s Elimination Chamber event excite you?
Okay, first the bad news. One of the participants of the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match has been (allegedly) injured, and won’t be able to compete this Sunday.
The worse news, is that it isn’t The Great Khali.
dixie carter, elimination chamber, Kelly Kelly, Mark Henry, randy orton, the great khali, the rock, vince russo, wwe
Hello and welcome to this week’s Smacking Of Smackdown. We’ve got a lot of stuff to go over, so let’s just jump right into it.
Okay, wait, I should tell you to leave a comment below to let us know what you thought of the show, and this review. Now, let’s get to it.
Oh wait, first, you should check out these Valentine’s Day cards made by myself and Steve Melo that were posted on Thursday. They’re funny/aggressively sexual and worth a quick look. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
You back? Good because while I was waiting I thought you might enjoy everything I’ve ever written at this blog here. Feel free to peruse that at your leisure.
You ready? Then it’s time to smack dat ass! (I know, too ghetto. I’ll come up with something better next week.)
alicia fox, Beth Phoenix, booker t, Camacho, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, hornswoggle, hunico, jinder mahal, john laurinaitis, josh matthews, michael cole, Natalya, randy orton, sheamus, smackdown, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, The Big Show, the great khali, Tyson Kidd, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and if you’re easily susceptible to the allure of a holiday invented by greeting card companies, then you’re probably out looking for the perfect gift for that special someone. And seeing as how not all wrestling fans are basement dwelling losers who have never interacted with a women that wasn’t on their computer screen, we can assume at least some of you might have a significant other that shares the same interests as you, namely the WWE. Well we are here to assist this desperate minority, and help make your Valentine’s Day a wrestling theme filled extravaganza! After the jump are some heartfelt/aggressively sexual WWE themed Valentine’s Day cards that the TJR staff whipped up. Feel free to click on the image to get a larger version and download away. Honestly, I can’t think of a better way to tell the person you love how you feel without a Funkasaurus assist.
Follow us on Twitter: @MeloOutTJR and @TheAEJohnson
cards, Valentine's Day, wwe
Chris Hero, Nazi? WHO KNOWS.
Alright, I know what you’re thinking…
“Daaaaaaaamn AJ, you don’t know who Chris Hero is? How wack is your game, son? You don’t know about The Mack Daddy of the Cravate? The (self–proclaimed) Savior of CZW? That Young Knockout Kid? Honkey, you be trippin on some mad free base dog! Yo, check it, while I got you here, listen to this sweet new beat by Kid N’ Play while I do some spins on this unfolded cardboard box.”
To answer both of your questions:
1) No, I have no idea who this guy is.
2) Yes, my internal monologue is an 1990′s inner-city black kid carrying a boom box. His name is Tyrone, and he’s got big dreams. He’s gonna get off this block and go to college. You’ll see!
angelina love, chris hero, Evan Bourne, goerge clooney, lilian garcia, lilian garcia's husband, miss piggy, r-truth, stacey keibler, the miz, the muppets, TNA, triple h, twitter, wwe
Hello everyone, and welcome to the 5th, 3rd, 80th whatever Smacking Of Smackdown review. In lieu of asking you to leave a comment below after you read these carefully crafted words, I would ask you to send a fruit basket or maybe a flower arraignment instead. If that’s a little to inconvenient for you, then I suppose a comment will do.
Alright, let’s smack your cares away! (Great, I thought I finally found a catchphrase but now I have the “Fraggle Rock” theme song stuck in my head. That’s going to be there all day.)
aksana, Beth Phoenix, big show, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, hacksaw jim duggan, hunico, Justin Gabriel, Mark Henry, Natalya, primo, randy orton, santino, sheamus, smackdown, Teddy Long, the great khali, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown
And no, it’s not Tony Chimel’s. (I know, I know, it’s a “he’s gay” joke. Trust me, I’m already ashamed. I am so sorry.)
Easy/lame/horrible jokes aside…
celebrity wife swap, Evan Bourne, kharma, lillian garcia, lillian garcia's husband, mick foley, monday night raw, raw, tech n9ne, wwe
Hello chumps and chumpettes, and welcome to another edition of The Smacking Of WWE Smackdown. I expected this review to go up a lot earlier, but that was before I hyperextended my knee and everyone started swinging chairs at each other.
So are you ready to get smacked up and then lay around for a while and not really do anything? I know I am! (Oh God, I forgot. That’s heroin abuse. I really wish this thing came with a delete key.)
aksana, alex riley, big show, brodus clay, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, funkasaurus, hunico, Justin Gabriel, Kaitlyn, Mark Henry, Natalya, primo, randy orton, santino, sheamus, tamina, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, wade barrett, yoshi tatsu
WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Preview
By John Canton, Andrew Johnson & Christian Michael
John Canton: I’ve always loved the Royal Rumble pay per view. I showed that love last year when I recapped every Royal Rumble match. The concept of the match is wonderful. Even if you think you know what might happen, there’s always a very good chance that something crazy will happen. I didn’t think Cena would win in 2008 or Edge in 2010 because they both made surprise returns. Could there be a surprise winner this year? You never know. The sad thing about the Rumble is that the winner doesn’t really get to “main event” WrestleMania anymore (especially this year), but it’s still one of my favorite matches and I know I’m going to enjoy it like I do every year. Right now there are only four announced matches. I’d expect some kind of midcard match to be added as a buffer to some of the big ones on the card, but I’m not going to guess what they will be.
chris jericho, cm punk, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, john cena, kane, r-truth, randy orton, raw, royal rumble, sheamus, smackdown, the miz, wade barrett, wwe
Welcome true believers to this week’s sin-tastic review. Smackdown hailed from lovely land of broken dreams Las Vegas last night, so you know what that means; roulette wheel filled with gimmicky matches and lots of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” comments. Let’s get to it, shall we?
It’s time to SMACK YOU IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. (Wow. Just… I thought that I needed a catchphrase with a little more oomph. That wasn’t oomph, it was just… mean. I’m so sorry guys. That was uncalled for. Friends?)
aksana, big show, brodus clay, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, hornswoggle, hunico, Justin Gabriel, primo, santino, sheamus, smackdown, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, the uso brothers, vickie guerrero, wade barrett, wwe