The John Report Wrestling Blog

No Andrew Johnson today. Busy with work. Back tomorrow with Headlines.

Welcome to Commentfest. On Monday night I started up a Raw discussion post on my Facebook page asking for reader comments. What I do is I go through the show from start to finish, pluck out the best comments and post them on here for you to read (and hopefully laugh). The reader comments will be in the blue & red font.

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The Raw Commentfest for 06/06/11
By John Canton

Welcome to Commentfest. On Monday night I started up a Raw discussion post on my Facebook page asking for reader comments. What I do is I go through the show from start to finish, pluck out the best comments and post them on here for you to read (and hopefully laugh). The reader comments will be in the blue & red font.

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The Raw Commentfest for 05/30/11
By John Canton

Welcome to Commentfest. On Monday night I started up a Raw discussion post on my Facebook page asking for reader comments. What I do is I go through the show from start to finish, pluck out the best comments and post them on here for you to read (and hopefully laugh). No names. I like the anonymity of it. I think they do too. The reader comments will be in the blue & red font. As I go through them, I also add my comments in black font and in (brackets like this) so you know when it’s me. I bring out the sarcasm in full force usually. After sorting through 2,100 comments (I’m not sure about the exact time spent) this is the end result for this week’s edition of Monday Night Raw. Thanks to my buddy Steve for the banner above. Let’s get to it…

I’ve been waiting all day for Commentfest. Who’s gonna get GOT tonight? (See? Some people lead interesting lives.)

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The Raw Commentfest for 05/23/11
By John Canton

Where to begin? Back in 2009 when the Raw Deal was growing and my Facebook page was turning into the kind of place where “creative” minds got together I thought about merging them. In the summer of ’09 it turned into something called Commentfest, which was a name spawned by former Raw guest host Jeremy Piven who used the term Summerfest instead of Summerslam. The truth is if you add “fest” onto any word it makes it more fun. I stopped hosting Commentfest last year, then I had my buddy Marc “Fozzie Bear” host it and then I wished it the best in its future endeavors in October. You can see the archive of commentfest if your heart desires. Now, after the please of the dozens…and dozens the return of Commentfest is upon is. By the way, I think we need to update that banner. It’s so…2009.

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A message from The Fozz: Welcome back to Commentfest! Sorry about last week, Facebook was not being very kind to me. That problem is fixed now, so we can all get back to doing what we love best: Making witty comments about a stale wrestling show! Whoo! At least it’s not TNA. They’re just awful.

Somehow I have a feeling that we will still see John Cena in that purple crap(This guy’s like a psychic or something)

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Welcome everyone to the pre-recorded edition of Commentfest! I would like to thank Logic for his help, as well as Duane Ellefson, who handled Commentfest a couple of weeks back. Now without much more ado, here we go….

Commentfest was also taped last week. Here are some spoilers: 1) some douche will start off with an exciting DX rip-off only to lead into a somber and disappointing reality of how boring Raw will actually be; 2) someone else will rip on Jerry Lawler for being horrible at announcing; 3) there will be several references to KOOL AID; 4) people will write self-professed outrageous and homosexual innuendoes followed by requests not to re-post them; and 5) there will be complaints about how the Hart Dynasty is poorly booked when in fact they are actually irrelevant besides their fortunate family lineage. “You’re welcome.” – Perry Saturn(Perry Saturn? I thought he was dead.)

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Welcome to the Season premiere of Commentfest! The questions you have been asking since last week are back: Is Cole the GM? Can Jericho get anymore awesome? Will We ever see Crazy Crazy again? Tune in to a very electric season of Commentfest to find out!!

To join Commentfest this week join John’s facebook page and be a part of all the weekly mayhem that exists.

ARE YOU READY?!! No…I said….ARE YOU READYYYYYYYYY?!!!
Are you ready for Cena vs. Orton MMDCLVIII?!! (That’s 2658…I think)
Are you ready for a concept that’s made up of random gimmick matches *COUGH*bullshit*COUGH*, that was “created” by a guy no longer with the company?!
Are you ready for a nice juicy BACONATOR from HEATH SLATER’S?!!!
Are you ready for to get your thirst quenched?!! (we all know John is)
ARE YOU READY…FOR EDSWOGGLE’S RETURN TO COMMENTFEST??!!
Well, then somebody get me a link, because Raw still doesn’t come on for another 4 hours here, but fuck…I MISS THIS SHIT!! My internet is fast enough now lol
IF YOU ARE READY FOR ALL OF THIS…then you’re probably a nerd…like me….because this is RAW….IS…..COMMENTFEST….and it…..is….AWESOMMMMMMMMEEEEE!!!! (Welcome back, Edswoggle. We missed you!)

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Hey there everyone it’s time for Commentfest! There wasn’t any songs or introduction strings this week, I think we’re slipping. Get on it! Anyway we all know how this works so lets get started!

Thanks for that great commentating Cole. I never would’ve guessed that was Nexus standing in the ring.

You can’t singlehandedly do anything with five guys. (Well if they were all standing in a circle…)

I want to marry the Evil 450. (Now with 45% more evil.)

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Welcome to The Longest Running Episodic Commentfest Ever! It’s Record Breaking! This week’s Commentfest was done by Matt “Cat Boy” Davis, as I have had a lot of running around to do the last couple of days. That being said, take it away Matt:

NOW HIT IT MICHAEL BUFFER: “FOR THE THOUSANDS IN ATTENDANCE AND THE MILLIONS WATCHING AROUND THE WORLD LEEEEETTTTTTTS GET READY TO COMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

With Skip’s broken ankle, expect SERIOUS VOICES~!

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Sorry about last week. Got caught up with a few things. This week’s Raw was great though, right? Man I hope you guys brought the funny.

Welcome to the Commentfest Coaster! There is no eating, koolaid passing, viper striking, purple crap wearing, vintage saying, or cole slurping on this ride. It is recommended that pregnant mothers, douchebag color commentators, and troglodytes do not experiene this ride. This ride may cause Canadiagasms and occasional voices in the head. Thank you and enjoy your ride on the Commentfest Coaster!

It’s Sheamus! Time to take a shot of Jameson! (I love the drunks)

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Welcome everyone to this week’s edition of Commentfest. I apologize for the lateness, but I was busy losing my job. Anyway, got a new one, and I have a week off, so next week’s C-fest should be on time. Until then, enjoy this weeks edition. There are song parodies and multiple gimmick-stealing letters., so enjoy your selves.

To take part in Commentfest visit John’s facebook page and join the madness every Monday night.

Raw is on! I’m wearing my STUPID ORANGE CRAP!! Are you?

nanananananananana BRETMAN! BRETMAN! BOOM! POW! ZAM! Eh?

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Marc “Fozzie Bear” Berman: Wow. Commentfest had a really low turn out this week. I blame it on the show being taped. Let’s hope for more positive results next week. Now, onto the comments!

To join Commentfest join John Canton’s facebook page at facebook.com/thejohnreportnet

I hope I can make commentfest. (Thanks for posting, Mr. Canton. You made it. Keep reaching those stars.)

It’s a good thing Cena quietly formed his team cause otherwise people would be laughing at him (They still laugh at him. It’s the ORANGE CRAP~!)

Is anyone actually anticipating a John Cena movie? (No.)

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