The John Report Wrestling Blog

WTF! TNA Impact Wrestling 02/02/12
By Marc B

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, what’s all this then? It’s time for Impact on the road in jolly old England. I have been looking forward to this week’s show, as I am a big fan of TNA taking their show on the road. It makes the product seem relevant and adds a sense of freshness. So how did they do? Let’s see shall we? Read more…

I don’t often talk about happenings outside of the WWE, but that doesn’t mean I only watch Vince McMahon’s promotion.  This has been a great week for professional wrestling.  Raw was excellent, and saw the seeds planted for a Punk vs. Jericho feud, as well as the returns of Triple H and the Undertaker.  Despite this intrigue, I feel more compelled to talk about TNA.  Or IMPACT!  Or whatever the hell it’s being called right now.  Not because of their above-average television show this week, but rather because of the most blatant nepotism the industry has seen since the days of territories.  I’m of course speaking of Eric and Garett Bischoff.

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The second WrestleMania was unique in that it emanated from three different cities: Long Island (New York), Chicago and Los Angeles with each city getting one hour of live action.

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The first WrestleMania took place at the home of WWE in New York City’s Madison Square Garden. How’d they get the name WrestleMania? The story goes, from the “True Story of WrestleMania” DVD, that ring announcer Howard Finkel came up with it when he mentioned the Beatles craze was known as “BeatleMania.”

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This picture has little relevance to anything, but look at Pikachu. Bless.

Legends Never Go Away by Laurence Salford

There’s been a recurring trend recently in the news with a lot of old wrestlers trying to forcibly insert themselves into anything that they vaguely think they have a chance to succeed in getting. I know that legends are characters that we know and love, as we have watched them perform over the years, and I know that a lot of them are still valuable to the organization, but c’mon, it’s getting embarrassing.

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Diasterpiece Theatre: Mr. Nanny

By Jacob Lindsey

“In this uproarious comedy, former professional wrestler Hulk Hogan stars as former professional wrestler Sean Armstrong, who is lured out of retirement to serve as a bodyguard for the inventor of a critical microchip. To Sean’s horror, he soon discovers he’s also expected to serve as bodyguard (and nanny) to the inventor’s children, who attempt to drive Sean away using their usual ruthless tactics — just as they’ve driven away every other nanny!”

Dammit. Read more…

Thursday Headlines: WWE Network to be Delayed
By Thomas & Aaron Briggs

The inevitable has happened: The WWE Network is likely to be delayed until fall.  This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who has been following along.  The Network is lacking in developed content, carrier support, and even staff.  Although the WWE was hoping to launch the ambitious channel by Wrestlemania, it seems impossible at this point.

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The Sunday Sharpshooter: Top 5 Heel Turns
By Thomas Avb Briggs

Chris Jericho’s return this Monday was a big event.  The reaction to his ten-minute, all smiles – no talk, return has been mixed to say the least.  Personally, I loved every second of it and can’t wait to see the follow up.  For someone who’s assumed to be feuding with CM Punk in the near future, he has to be a heel.  And in his ten minutes of time on Raw this week, he was able to turn fans from chanting “Y2J!” to booing him by the end of the segment.  That’s just brilliant.  For anyone worried about where the WWE and Jericho is going with this character, just give them time.  Trust Jericho, he knows what he’s doing.

Jericho’s return, and possible heel turn, got me thinking about all of the great heel turns in modern wrestling.  It’s always fun to look back at favorite memories, and these are all great ones.  Here’s my list of the five greatest heel turns of all time:

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Thursday Headlines
By Thomas and Aaron Briggs

The WWE is reportedly interested in setting up a physical Hall of Fame in the very near future.  The Hall of Fame would be similar to the MLB Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York and the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio in that it would contain famous memorabilia from historic events and top superstars.  According to SEScoops, the WWE is currently looking for a location in the North East or Florida.

It’s a neat idea, but something tells me that viewing an old pair of Hulk Hogan’s tights and ripped t-shirt might not be the most enticing attraction in the world.

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In a time where a lot of older performers are holding on to their fading stars, attempting to stay in the spotlight for a few more minutes, there are some who understand that the wrestling business is about the future. Right now, it’s about creating new stars who can support the business that the older guys helped build. Booker T seems to be one of those.

In an interview with the Baltimore Sun, the interviewer asked if this was Booker’s last match.

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Ew. Ew. Ew Ew. Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew Ew.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW-

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Disasterpiece Theatre: Little Hercules in 3D
By Jacob Lindsey

This week’s column is brought to you courtesy of reader and infrequent commenter, Wulliam Raymond. I received it as a “gift,” and I’m not sure if I should thank him, or send him a punch to the face. I don’t want to pay shipping, though, so thanks buddy. Instead of my usual introduction, I’m going to let this one introduce itself. Here’s the plot synopsis from the DVD case:

“Little Hercules decides to go to Earth to experience life as a real boy. He leaves Mt. Olympus, descends through the heavens, and lands in Burbank, California where his time leaping sparks a chain of culture-clashing misadventures.” Sound fun? It’s not, but here goes nothing.

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