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The Midweek Breakdown: Teddy Long books a 10 Count

Posted by Cody Dodson - February 22, 2012 - Cody Dodson, Columns, wwe

Hello once again, dear readers, and happy Wednesday to you all. It’s time for another edition of The Midweek Breakdown. I was going to do a lengthy, philosophical column about the importance of Twitter-battling B-list R&B singers, but as you can see by the title of what you’re reading, Teddy Long came to my house and told me he loves the 10 Count so much that I just had to do it this week or else I would have to go one on one wit da Randah Or-TON. I chose to write the 10 Count. Before we begin, I want to apologize for not making it on here for Friday Headlines last week. I was out of town with a horrible Internet connection. I thought I would be able to make it work, as I was able to get the Wednesday column posted, but Headlines was just not meant to be. Anyways, I apologize and I’ll be back in form this Friday. (more…)

brodus clay, chris brown, cm punk, daniel bryan, David Otunga, john cena, the miz, the rock, triple h, wade barrett

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 2/17/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - February 18, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Hello good sirs and lasses, and welcome to this week’s Smacking of WWE Smackdown. We’ve got a lot to go over this week, so let’s skip the part where I ask you to leave a comment below where you correct my spelling and grammar (because I no longer care) and get right into the vegan meat substitute and potatoes of this thing.

You ready? Because it’s time to smack it… down. (I’ll be honest, I’m not feeling very well so I don’t really have a catchphrase in me today. Maybe next week I will. Sorry.)

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alicia fox, battle royal, Beth Phoenix, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, Ezekiel Jackson, hunico, jinder mahal, Mark Henry, Natalya, randy orton, santino, sheamus, tamina snuka, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, The Big Show, the great khali, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 2/10/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - February 11, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Hello and welcome to this week’s Smacking Of Smackdown. We’ve got a lot of stuff to go over, so let’s just jump right into it.

Okay, wait, I should tell you to leave a comment below to let us know what you thought of the show, and this review. Now, let’s get to it.

Oh wait, first, you should check out these Valentine’s Day cards made by myself and Steve Melo that were posted on Thursday. They’re funny/aggressively sexual and worth a quick look. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

You back? Good because while I was waiting I thought you might enjoy everything I’ve ever written at this blog here. Feel free to peruse that at your leisure.

You ready? Then it’s time to smack dat ass! (I know, too ghetto. I’ll come up with something better next week.)

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alicia fox, Beth Phoenix, booker t, Camacho, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, hornswoggle, hunico, jinder mahal, john laurinaitis, josh matthews, michael cole, Natalya, randy orton, sheamus, smackdown, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, The Big Show, the great khali, Tyson Kidd, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 2/03/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - February 4, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Hello everyone, and welcome to the ~~5th~~, ~~3rd~~, ~~80th~~ whatever Smacking Of Smackdown review. In lieu of asking you to leave a comment below after you read these carefully crafted words, I would ask you to send a fruit basket or maybe a flower arraignment instead. If that’s a little to inconvenient for you, then I suppose a comment will do.

Alright, let’s smack your cares away! (Great, I thought I finally found a catchphrase but now I have the “Fraggle Rock” theme song stuck in my head. That’s going to be there all day.)

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aksana, Beth Phoenix, big show, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, hacksaw jim duggan, hunico, Justin Gabriel, Mark Henry, Natalya, primo, randy orton, santino, sheamus, smackdown, Teddy Long, the great khali, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 1/27/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - January 29, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Hello chumps and chumpettes, and welcome to another edition of The Smacking Of WWE Smackdown. I expected this review to go up a lot earlier, but that was before I hyperextended my knee and everyone started swinging chairs at each other.

So are you ready to get smacked up and then lay around for a while and not really do anything? I know I am! (Oh God, I forgot. That’s heroin abuse. I really wish this thing came with a delete key.)

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aksana, alex riley, big show, brodus clay, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, funkasaurus, hunico, Justin Gabriel, Kaitlyn, Mark Henry, Natalya, primo, randy orton, santino, sheamus, tamina, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, wade barrett, yoshi tatsu

WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Preview

Posted by John Canton - January 27, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Christian Michael, Columns, John Canton, TJR Staff, wwe, WWE PPV

WWE Royal Rumble 2012 Preview
By John Canton, Andrew Johnson & Christian Michael

John Canton: I’ve always loved the Royal Rumble pay per view. I showed that love last year when I recapped every Royal Rumble match. The concept of the match is wonderful. Even if you think you know what might happen, there’s always a very good chance that something crazy will happen. I didn’t think Cena would win in 2008 or Edge in 2010 because they both made surprise returns. Could there be a surprise winner this year? You never know. The sad thing about the Rumble is that the winner doesn’t really get to “main event” WrestleMania anymore (especially this year), but it’s still one of my favorite matches and I know I’m going to enjoy it like I do every year. Right now there are only four announced matches. I’d expect some kind of midcard match to be added as a buffer to some of the big ones on the card, but I’m not going to guess what they will be.

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chris jericho, cm punk, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, john cena, kane, r-truth, randy orton, raw, royal rumble, sheamus, smackdown, the miz, wade barrett, wwe

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 1/20/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - January 21, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Welcome true believers to this week’s sin-tastic review. Smackdown hailed from lovely land of broken dreams Las Vegas last night, so you know what that means; roulette wheel filled with gimmicky matches and lots of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” comments. Let’s get to it, shall we?

It’s time to SMACK YOU IN YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. (Wow. Just… I thought that I needed a catchphrase with a little more oomph. That wasn’t oomph, it was just… mean. I’m so sorry guys. That was uncalled for. Friends?)

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aksana, big show, brodus clay, daniel bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, hornswoggle, hunico, Justin Gabriel, primo, santino, sheamus, smackdown, ted dibiase, Teddy Long, the uso brothers, vickie guerrero, wade barrett, wwe

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 1/06/12

Posted by Andrew Johnson - January 7, 2012 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, WWE Smackdown

Hello you Princes of Maine, you Kings of New England. This is the fourth week that I’m attempting to review WWE Smackdown, and with your help I’ve crafted a format that I’ve become pretty pleased with. So instead of spending an entire intro telling you what I’m going to do and asking you to leave a comment below (oh look, I did it anyway) let’s just get right down to it.

Prepare to Smack It…HARD. (Oh lord, that came across a lot more sexual then I wanted it to. Geeze, I’m really, really sorry. I still haven’t gotten a handle on this catchphrase thing, please be patient. (Ugh, I feel like I need a shower now. (Shut up internal voice, get it together. You have a show to review. (Alright fine, don’t get your lack of underpants in a twist. (I have underwear, they’re just in the laundry. (Yeah, sure.)))))

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air boom, AJ, aksana, booker t, chick busters, Cody Rhodes, daneil bryan, Drew McIntyre, epico, Evan Bourne, heath slater, hornswoggle, jinder mahal, Justin Gabriel, kofi kingston, Mark Henry, Natalya, primo, randy orton, sheamus, smackdown, tamina, Teddy Long, The Big Show, wade barrett, wwe

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 12/30/11

Posted by Andrew Johnson - December 31, 2011 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, wwe, WWE Smackdown

Like the new banner? Steve Melo made it for me after I asked him to make a custom banner for this column, and mentioned that I didn’t care what it looked like. So he threw some blue on Lobster Dog and said “Here you go, asshole” and here we are. Still, it looks pretty good. I don’t know why people always think I want Lobster Dog in everything. It’s a complete mystery to me.

So this is the third week I’m covering Smackdown, and with the help of your suggestions I’ve molded this review into something that isn’t such a goddamn Best And Worst Of Raw clone (if you click that link, then go ahead and click this one too and check out the awesome Pizza Body Slam). Let me know if this new format works or if you hate it more then I hate star rating systems in the comment section below.

Alright, it’s time to Smack It Around! (Wow, I kept saying that out loud all week, and it seemed fine until I saw it in writing. What a horrible catchphrase. I owe an apology to a lot of people.)

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booker t, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, dustin rhodes, randy orton, smackdown, wade barrett, wwe

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 12/23/11

Posted by Andrew Johnson - December 24, 2011 - Andrew Johnson, Columns, wwe, WWE Smackdown

A few things before we begin:

- Thank you guys so much for the overwhelmingly positive feedback last week. It was you guys that convinced me to take up the Smackdown reviewer mantle, and I hope to do you all proud.

- I haven’t totally settled on the permanent title for this review yet. If you have a suggestion that’s better then “The Smacking Of WWE Smackdown” I’d love to hear it, so please leave any suggestions you have in the comment section.

- While you’re at it, please feel free to comment in the comment section. It’s the only way for you to tell me what you liked or didn’t like about the review, and how best to improve it.

- Since I hate star rating systems with the passion of a million exploding suns, I ignore them in lieu of telling you whether I like something or not. If something is Smacked Up that means it’s good, Smacked Down it’s bad. Although last week a gracious commenter pointed out that in England getting Smacked Up means getting high on heroin, so I’ll probably change that too once I think of something better.

Enjoy getting Smacked Around! (Okay, I said I was working on this last week, but obviously I’m not very good at this whole catchphrase thing. I’m working on it, please be patient.)

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air boom, aksana, big show, booker t, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Dolph Ziggler, epico, Evan Bourne, jack swagger, kofi kingston, Mark Henry, primo, randy orton, santino, sheamus, smackdown, Teddy Long, the miz, vickie guerrero, wade barrett, wwe, Zack Ryder

The Sunday Sharpshooter: TLC Spotlight by Thomas Briggs

Posted by John Canton - December 18, 2011 - Columns, Thomas Briggs, wwe

The Sunday Sharpshooter: TLC Spotlight
By Thomas Avb Briggs

This, my friends, will be the last pay-per-view spotlight that I write. While these have been fun, not to mention easy, to write, they haven’t garnered the reaction I originally expected. The idea was to extensively cover a mid-card match that had the potential to steal the show. These “spotlights” would offer a different look at matches than you’d find in your usual preview. But it unfortunately didn’t always work-out that way. That’s partially my fault, as I’ve more often than not covered main event matches rather than the mid-card matches once promised. Of course, when I’d cover mid-card matches, less and less people took an interest in the article. It’s a vicious circle that I believe has been played out.

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randy orton, smackdown, tlc, wade barrett, wwe

THE SMACKING OF WWE SMACKDOWN 12/16/11

Posted by Andrew Johnson - December 17, 2011 - Andrew Johnson, WWE Smackdown

A few things before we begin:

- Christian Michael will no longer be covering Smackdown. He has personal responsibilities that will limit his online presence, but he’s not going away. He’s just lightening the load. The real world is a fickle mistress, and Christian is a great guy that has devoted a lot of his free time for this site, so leave him a comment or write on his wall to let him know how much you’ve appreciated him. I’ll be covering Smackdown this week, so if you like my writing then surprise! If you don’t, then what the hell are you doing here, don’t you have anything better to do than read things you hate? We’ll have a new regular writer ready to go next week.

- I’m not a fan of star ratings, because I think they’re stupid, and too many people argue about what they mean. I’d rather just tell you if I like something or not, so I’ll just stick with the only format I’m comfortable writing. We’re all adults here (I hope) and I don’t want to argue with someone because I rated Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan 3 stars instead of 3 and 1/4 stars, especially because my real feelings on the whole argument would be I don’t care, take a shower, go outside, and talk to people instead of sitting in your room coming up with a star rating system. They aren’t that important.

- Whether you love or hate the review, leave a comment. I have some really large shoes to fill, and it’s not going to be easy so your encouragement or disdain would be appreciated. Don’t worry, we’ll get through this together.

Enjoy getting Smacked Up! (Oh my, that doesn’t sound good at all. We’re going to work on that, I swear.)

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alicia fox, big show, booker t, Cody Rhodes, daniel bryan, Dolph Ziggler, epico, jack swagger, josh matthews, Kevin Nash, Mark Henry, michael cole, Natalya, primo, randy orton, rosa mendes, sheamus, smackdown, ted dibiase, the usos, tim tebow, triple h, wade barrett, wwe, wwe smackdown, Zack Ryder